Will Not Get You Laid

I dont want to be Alone during the winter – m4w – 20
hi this is a real post i posted several times before with no luck of finding a ladie to chill with and just have some adult time togather, ITcan be a NSA thing or attachment I dont care. THe only thing that I ask for is please be DD free and STD free. Any age or race is fine with me. well here is a lil about me im 5’11 and 215lbs athletic football player build, mixed black rican and white, enjoy working out , playing sports, watching movies, partying , anything fun. I work alot and if you wana know more maybe we can exchange numbers and talk more.

The title of this young man’s post caught my eye. I thought it was a potential goldmine for desperate pleas for companionship (and sex) from a man who wanted comfort (and sex) during a lonely time (lonely…for sex!). But really, spelling and grammar aside, it’s pretty innocuous.

Then I saw the picture. Again, normally this statement is followed by a picture of a beer gut and penis the size of a half pack of Rolaids. But the truth is, he’s rather…well…hot. However, his bid for anonymity? Not so much. Let’s take a peek, shall we?

It almost seems like a crime for him to have taken such a nice tummy picture and done that to it. I mean, really?? It took me a few seconds to figure out why in the hell he put white slashes in seemingly random places, until it occurred to me…tattoos! But in such a low rez image, are we really going to be able to make out what his smallish tattoos look like? Are they that distinctive? Are we talking about Road Runner doing Wily E. Coyote here, or are we talking eagles carrying swastikas?
And was cropping the photo normally too hard? What was in the room surrounding him? His last victims? His Miley Cyrus albums? What?? Not to mention the fact that cropping would have removed the need for him to draw one of Winnie the Pooh’s little black rain clouds on his face.
But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he wasn’t going for tattoo removal and anonymity at all. Maybe he just wanted to make a wonky-eyed smiley face and forgot the mouth. That must be it!!

See? Much better.

oral surgeon for hire
oral surgeon willing to make free house calls for (young) , pretty ,clean, horny ladies
let me work on ur hot bothered spot no insurance or copay needed

I’ll admit it, I’ve fantasized about my primary care doctor in the past. As a kid, I even had a crush on my dentist (he had really pretty eyes). But, despite probably being a very attractive man, I could in no way eroticize the man who took out my wisdom teeth. Oral surgeons are second only to proctologists in the category of Least Sexy Medical Profession. This is not to say that oral surgeons and proctologists cannot be sexy people, but they do not happen to practice forms of medicine that inspire vaginal moisture. (BTW, Wikipedia has informed me that the PC term for a proctologist these days is “colorectal surgeon.” That really doesn’t help the un-sexy)

So that brings us to the ad above. I can’t tell if this guy is genuinely trying to use his profession to get laid, or if he’s trying to imply that he will perform oral in a skillful, perhaps even surgical (?), manner. Either way, I don’t think he realizes that it mostly sounds like he’s offering in-home extraction of the impacted teeth of sexy (young!) things.